I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
