i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize