do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
