Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
