Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
