hell yes lets make some ravioli
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
