The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
