I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
