I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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