ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
