is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
