There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
do herpes really smell.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize