I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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