I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
