i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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