At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
