I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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