we're blogging at a bar
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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