We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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