Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
