woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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