dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's always time for handjobs
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
