i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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