I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
