then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
