I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
