I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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