I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
