peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so let's talk penis.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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