did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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