You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
