JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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