My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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