Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize