A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
