watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
