I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
