I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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