You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
