Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
