I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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