once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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