chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
