Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Did I show you my penis last night?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
