I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize