Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so explain again why im purple
no
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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