I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
