i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
