dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
