Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
