Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
