Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
