i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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