i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
