Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Ladies don't puke and tell
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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