Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
