maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
