Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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