a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
