Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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