i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
