is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
