Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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