She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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